Text fragments, 2015
Fragment I — Demolished structure
We are a demolished temple and just feel pity to dig out the ruins so that each of us builds something new on its place.
Partnership is like a system of connected vessels; the more you act as if nothing had happened the more I dig in what happened.
The more you try to go above this, to turn your back and forget, the more I’m pushed by the law of balance to go down below and deeper in myself.
We are not a family for a long time now. We are mainly quarrelling and irritating each other.
We are a demolished temple.
A structure falls when one element shifts its weight.
Fragment II — Threshold / Body / Silence
I sit for a while under the wild pear tree which shaded the small meadow where the deer rest.
The air is no longer outside or inside the body.
I stop to gain some power, noise and beauty. I swallow a piece of silence and its bliss settles in my thighs. My feet rooted in the wet earth below me.
I cannot explain it; it cannot be explained reasonably and with logic.
Fragment III — Dissolution / Nature / Perception
I raise my eyes and then I saw him – wood guardian angel. Deer. Grace flows in my veins, scatters in my body and touches the tips of my fingers inside.
The wind passes through the dense structure of the body, dissolving its borders.
Now I realize with all the pores of my skin and with every tissue of my body that I, the butterfly, the deer, the broad-leaved trees and the juicy roots and the thin dew and the heavy with moisture and steps earth and the warmth in my veins and the ease of my thoughts and presence that we all are one.
We all are one and pulsate in the non-existing boundaries between us.
The butterfly rotates in perfect circles around my arm.
Fragment IV — Reassembly / Motion
I pool out my roots from the soft earth and carry my thoughts forward among the stems of the broad-leaved trees.
In a moment the magic is back.
Fragment V — Compression / Return
I want to go back again and again to certain moments, events to remember things again and hurt myself more and more. It became pathology.
What is unspoken accumulates.
I don’t know how to take care of myself, what kind of help I should seek. I collapsed.
I’m not feeling centered.
Fragment VI — Unity / Afterstate
From the place where I find myself now, everything is one and I am one with all.
Everything else is small and loses strength and senses.