(A Chronology of Awakening)
“One needs a deep spiritual disruption to create something. That is, one must first be put out of order—this forces a new structure to be built, so as not to simply float around in weightlessness.”
By document, I am an artist. Specifically—a sculptor. By soul, I am a woman. By soul, I dare say, I am a human being. Even more—a good and spiritual person. By my deeds, I am a clerk. I work from 8 to 5. In an office. I drive a brand-new car on installments. I cook only for myself. On Sundays, I clean—the rabbit’s cage and my own.
Five years have passed since I received a document stating I am an artistic nature. Two—since I last performed an act in support of that written testimony. After that, I settled my life. Everything was running like clockwork until the phone rang and a cheerful call sounded: “Come to a plein-air in Vetren!” Naturally, I refused. What would I do in Vetren? Art is like music or sports. One month without practice, and you have to start building from scratch. These “structures” of the soul have nothing to do with riding a bicycle…
But the call was persuasive. And there I was—the 3D visualizer, the newly hatched computer modeling genius—in Vetren.
Do not think that actual winds rage there. There, the Danube stretches out in quiet languor. No, there is no wind in Vetren. I am talking about other winds. Because in this apparent calm wanders a restless spirit. A spirit that boils, endures… and changes destinies. A spirit indomitable and difficult to understand. Intolerable to imitate. Heavy as the waters of the Danube. Painful as swarms of mosquitoes. Unreachable like the Romanian shore beyond. Lonely like the islands in the middle of the river.
This spirit I knew from before. It was the spirit I carried within me, the one that built me before I became “mature” and settled my life. Before I began to see black in black and call white “white.” This spirit gave me no peace and filled my inner world; it forced me to live without tranquility… before I became a calm and balanced person.
I had forgotten this spirit, and I did not miss it… before the winds of Vetren invaded my life.